الحمدُ للهِ وسلامٌ على عبادِهِ الذينَ اصْطفى، أما بعد...   

Today, I wish to express a couple of thoughts. Whenever I have the opportunity to converse with educated individuals, I enjoy sharing my ideas. Today, I would like to discuss two topics:

One: Our approach to our own religious knowledge.

Two: Our approach to our own homes and families.

It goes without saying that acquiring Islamic knowledge is essential. Alhamdulillah, many educated individuals have a keen interest in reading religious books. However, sometimes some of them develop a mindset and inclination towards research. In reality, depending on some religious books, their tendency to research is not correct. Research is something very difficult, it has its own conditions and requirements. In 2005, an article titled 'Research: Rights and Policies' was published in this subject in the monthly AlKawsar.

There are specific rules and regulations for research, along with conditions and requirements. For example, this brother holds a PhD degree in a particular field. If I were to start research in the same field after acquiring some knowledge in English and consider myself a contributor to their work—what do you think about me?

Some individuals believe that they have a right to conduct research in matters of religion. They assume that in the realm of worldly knowledge, one should only research subjects within their specialization. However, when it comes to religious matters, whether someone is qualified or not, whether they meet the necessary conditions or not—everyone is seemingly allowed to engage in research.

In reality, knowing, obeying, and practicing religion are obligations for everyone, but research is not open to all. Just as in other fields, research is reserved for those with specific qualities and abilities, especially those who are highly specialized and capable.

It's important to note that research in religious matters is more challenging than research in other fields. I won't delve further into this topic today. I hope that reading the article in the monthly Al-Kawsar will be beneficial.

The second point is the cultivation of religiosity within oneself and one's family. In the realm of religiosity, someone may have a connection with an Allahwala (a pious person). Another person may have initiated their journey through performing Hajj, while someone else may have started with Tabligh, another one may have begun by sending his son to a madrasa. Regardless of how one's journey towards religiousness began, they should be grateful to Allah for it. After embarking on this path, it becomes exceptionally important to pay attention to certain matters."

One:  Compensation for the previous sins

Many people embark on the path of religion and never look back. However, it's essential to find out the past wrongdoings and make amends for them. We must repent and seek forgiveness for those transgressions for which there is no compensation. For errors where compensation is possible, we must make sincere efforts to do so.

If there is a financial obligation, we should fulfill it. If we missed Salah and fasts, we should make them up. If we wronged someone, we must ask for forgiveness. If someone's rights have been violated, we should strive to restore them. Sins can be forgiven through repentance and seeking forgiveness. But the rights of others can not be forgiven until it is restored. Therefore, we seek forgiveness and then give back someone’s right if we have wronged.

Two: Do not be hasty and forceful in implementing shariah within family

After embarking on the path of religion, initially, some individuals have extra enthusiasm and eagerness to make all the family members like them. Their eagerness is good. However, it is not good to force the family members to follow shariah like them.

How do you force them, while you started this journey just a few days ago? You were like them for many years. Allah has granted you tawfiq. So, you've started. Why do you compel everyone in the family to start right now? Why do you not be patient? Seek progress of your child's faith and deeds, but do not be hasty, excessive, and forceful.

Three: Avoid spying and looking for faults

Another thing is very important. Never do spying on your wife. Do not think in this manner: 'When I go to the office, she is alone at home, what does she do? What is she doing on her mobile phone?' You should not secretly search her mobile phone to find out who she's talking to and for how long. These actions are highly disrespectful and should be avoided. It is absolutely forbidden for both of you to spy on each other and check each other's mobile phones.

Don't appear overly pious; Islam does not endorse such behavior. Instead, fear Allah and maintain positive thoughts about one another. Avoid unnecessary doubts, as they can lead to problems in many families. So, fear Allah and be kind to one another.

Four: Do not force for a Mustahab act

Do not force others for a voluntary/recommended (Mustahabb) act. This is exaggeration. For instance, if you have recently started praying Tahajjud, refrain from pressuring your wife to do the same. Instead, allow her to rest. Wake her up for the Fajr prayer and provide gentle encouragement for Tahajjud. If she expresses a desire to wake up for Tahajjud on her own, then you may assist her. However, it is not permissible to force her into it. 

Similarly, if you want to remove a haram bad habit from her, you have to be patient, let alone a bad habit which is not haram. Do not try to forcefully remove a bad habit merely because you do not like it or your religious mentor (shaykh) does not like it.

In summary, we need to learn balance. That's why it's very important to have a good relationship with ulama. Read the books that increases your understanding of these matters repeatedly, (such as Mufti Taqi Usmani damat barakatuhu's books).

May Allah Ta'ala grant us all - Amin.

واخرُ دعْوانا أنِ الْحَمْدُ للهِ ربِّ العالَمِيْن

Abridged Translation: Rasel Khan